am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
