Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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