Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize