i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
