dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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