im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
