where am i from again
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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