You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
