You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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