i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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