Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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