Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
