I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
