sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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