i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
