So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
