Got a toothbrush?
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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