So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
