I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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