your thong is hanging out like whoa
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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