I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Enjoy the penises
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
