I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
