he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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