And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize