I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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