end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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