I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
