me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
