I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
