i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
then he tried to convert me to islam
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
