gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize