We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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