Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
