Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
