I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
