I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
