but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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