clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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