it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
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