u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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