college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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