i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
