god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
