PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
