oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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