he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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