google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
