I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
