Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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