If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
