U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize