I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
