im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
