? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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