Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
