i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
