I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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