bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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