I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
